I'm Sorry Tot my fickle-mindness had finally left me for good, but it came back today (sighs). Supposed to go out for makan with colleagues today, but as Shan may not be gng due to heavy workload, I was also thinking of of not attending. Luckily, mad Shan Shan managed to rush out everything & decided to go along with the grp.

Though I told Shan : "You Go, I Go" (Local version of 'Titanic"~~haha~~), but when I knew dat the grp is as large as 17 pple (including me), I started having 2nd tots. All along, my impression of U grads were not gd (no offence if there's anyone of you reading this), cuz I've a few bad encounters with them. Well, you may said dat not all were like this but really nice ones, I felt there's very few. And so, out of the 17 pple, I'm the odd one out (lowest qualifications). To me, Shan is the only person whom I felt will not put on airs; probably also the person whom I'm most comfortable with. But I cant possible stick to her all the time right?

At dat point of time when I told her I mite not be joining the rest, there was alot of qns inside my head : "Will I have topics to chat with them?" "Will they say smthg whereby I cant chip in?" "Will they be interested in what I was saying?" or "Will they find me boring?" etc etc etc. The uncertainties were like...Wow...Cant believe it myself either. But In the end, I went (despite feeling stressful inside).

Shan, if you're reading this, I would like to apologize to you. I'm sorry for not being able to make up my mind over such small issues. All those qns jus made me freak out. Pls do not see me as a person dat is DAO or wadsoever. Also dunno why but somehow, memories of those bad encounters still lingers aft so many yrs. Am really sry if I've caused any inconvenience to you. Thanks for putting up with me all these while! N I know I'm not an easy person to get along with, so pls pls bear with me. Last but not least, I'M SRY.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy@7/18/2007 11:17:00 PM